Birthday: #33 Was Awesome!

I had the most awesome birthday this year! I didn't do anything spectacular, no big trips or surprises, but I had an amazingly wonderful day with the people I love most!

On Thursday my sweet friend Wendy took me out for a relaxing early birthday pedi and some lunch at Kincaids! Hellooo relaxing! Who says you can't have riesling at 11 o'clock in the morning? We had a great time gabbing 100mph while making sure to stop often enough to thank the nail gals for their amazing work!

Then I decided to push through that afternoon and hit up Crossfit for a 10,000m row. Hey, I wanted to make up for the extra cals I'd inhale on Friday. Thankfully my girl Megan was there to give me some support, as well as her hubs Jeremy...they got me started on a positive note! #blisterhell

Friday was my actual birthday, and I had a FABULOUS lunch with an awesome group of friends at one of my fave spots, Brio! 

These are seriously the sweetest, most fun, "real" girls I know, and I cherish my relationships with each one of them! I definitely missed a few that couldn't make it...ahem Em, Morris, Bauer! ;) I thought a nice, sunny, 11am lunch on the patio would be great. Ummmm, fail. It was balls hot before noon LOL. These sweet girls toughed it out though...love them! :)

Me, Lisa, Jess, Megan, baby Tegan, Jaclyn, Wendy, Laura, Hayley

 

Jaclyn and Wendy were melting on their side of the table...this was right before we left. Look at their expressions...they were thinking "good Lord Sarah let's go with the pictures, we're dyyyying". LOL

Lisa (from PA) underestimated the Texas heat at 12:00 on the patio. Next time she'll sport a cami and bikini bottoms instead of a tee and jeans. I met Lisa through her mom's group a few months back, and we have a BLAAST together! #pumpkinbutterrr!!!!

Jessica (brunette) is pregnant, hot and probably silently cussing me right there...LOL. Look at Tegan's face, she's like, OMG it's hot mommy!

Laura (shades) is pregnant with twins, gorgeous, and probably cussing the heat as well...in her sweetest, kindest tone of course. :) I wish I could wear fedoras like Hayley. My head is too big. Hayley is always stylin'!

My beautiful friend Jessica (pregnant with baby boy!) and Megan my awesome CrossFitting buddy. We like to get tortured together.

 My strawberry basalmic chicken awesomeness salad...with pecans. #win

Aaand, this is my sweet Wendy and her gorgeous, flowing red hair. Wendy and I have been best friends since like high school, and our sons are just a couple of weeks apart in age! She teaches in my district and lives in my neighborhood too! 

We ate our lunches, I took a million pics and opened a ton of sweet gifts from my girls. Then the server surprised me with a little glass of chocolate heaven with a candle. 

Feeling the love!!!!

After Brio, I walked over to one of my favorite "professional and LBD attire" shops, WHBM. I tried on a few cute things and modeled for my girl Jaclyn. C'mon...acting like you're 12 and trying clothes on is always fun! 

I left the Southlake Town Square for the day, and picked up my sweetie pie. I was SO excited to see him! Here he is as soon as I picked him up. Obviously he's more interested in his cold milk cup than seeing mommy!

When we got home, my friend Emily told me to check my mailbox, and there I found another perfect bday surprise! Check out this little book...Emily knows me too well! This is a perfect book for us LOL! Thanks Em! Hilarious...

Michael got home around 6 or so from work, and we talked about movie, nice dinner out, etc., but we decided to lay low and stay in. We were both pooped from a long week, and we wanted to hang out with our little man. So, Marcos' thin crust veggie pizza was my birthday dinner, and it was DELISH! This place doesn't disappoint. Helloo fetaaaa...

I caught the sweetest picture of the day here, when Kyle was smelling my flowers from Jess. They're so bright and happy! I LOVE bright, fresh flowers. He loved them...is this not adorable?? #meltsmyheart

This past year has been wonderful. I think year #32 was the best yet. A lot of things have changed in my life, and I've changed a lot myself...all for the better! I can definitely say that I am happier at this point in my life, than I have ever been! I'm embracing all of my blessings and living each day to the fullest. I have wonderful friends, an amazingly supportive husband, a healthy, sweet boy and the best family ever! Blessed beyond measure!

Cheers to 33!

Rant #128

Before I begin, I need to include this disclaimer:

I LOVE being a mommy. I LOVE my sweetie pie son. I LOVE that I've been able to stay home with him for 12 months now. What a blessing. I know I'll cry my eyes out the first few days I'm back at work in August because I'll miss my little monkey. He makes me happier than anything else in my life. With that said...

I am effing exhausted. Yep. I said it. I'm sure any working mom reading this would want to backhand me, after working a long week and raising children at home. I've done that too...I worked about four months after having Kyle before resigning. Regardless, I'm EXHAUSTED. Being a stay at home mom is by far the hardest job I've ever had. 

-waitress

-sprint rep

-bartender

-retail

-admin

-graphic designer

-marketing

-teacher

-SAHM (ding ding ding ding!!!!!)

Kyle still doesn't sleep well. He's definitely improved since his ear/adenoids surgery in February, but crap...he's always teething or sick. I think the record for consecutive sleeps from 9:30-5:30 is four nights. FOUR in 18 months. Sweet baby Jesus. 

"Why don't you just let him cry it out Sarah"? Well, hmmm. First of all, it stresses me out and I have this weird mommy reflex to where I pour sweat when he's screaming like that. We have a video/audio monitor so I literally lay there, wide awake at 12, 1, 3, whatever, and watch him. My hubs tells me to shut our door and just turn off the sound. How can I do that and fall asleep!? Okay...so a few weeks ago he was crying, wheezing the coughing so bad, so fast, that we ended up calling 911 at 5am. He could barely breathe and with "asthma/reactive lungs" he was in bad shape. What if I had turned off the sound that night and we never heard him!? Then recently, he's enabled to get his foot stuck between the bed rails and screams bloody murder. That's all I need it a toddler with broken ankles. I'm an obsessive mom...what can I say. Here's an average sleep schedule:

5:30am  wakeup

11:00am  nap for 1.5 hrs, maybe (oooh snap!!! maybe I can wash my hair this week today!) then, Kyle hears the shower door shut through two walls. Yeah. This wakes him up. Or a neighbor talking outside. Or a dog bark or me getting a dish out of the cupboard. Seriously?!! Eff me.

9:00 pm goes to sleep (much improved from the 10/11pm until March)

12, 2 and/or 4 or 5, wakes up crying, wet, lonely, molars hurting, full of snot, coughing, etc.

5:30 he's awake! weeeee!

this is Kyle and I at 5am...yeah, I'm as excited as I look

Now, it IS improving, last night he only cried out for about 20 min around 2am, but geez...when you're used to getting up every two hours for almost two years, you barely sleep. Then when you're up, it takes you 20-30 min to fall back asleep. It was meant to be, my staying home this past year. I would not have made it a month with my lack of sleep combined with 20 little kids everyday. #nervousbreakdown

Another challenge with my son is that...wait for it...

HE NEVER STOPS :)

This is Kyle at 3:30, no nap, up from 2-4 the night before, and still going strong. That's me, with 8 pound bags under my black circle eyes and hair that hasn't been washed in days. #deadsexy

No, I'm not exaggerating. I'm the mom at the park, play areas, play dates, restaurants, etc. that all of the other moms feel sorry for and I get the "oh wow...he's a handful, isn't he?" grin...or, the "wow you  must be exhausted with him!" comment. Yes, I'm sure these women are trying to sound empathetic, but I'm so tired of these comments...EVERY FREAKING DAY. He's not really hyper, he's just, active...nonstop. He likes to be entertained every single second, he's curious, he wants to know everything that's going on, he's giving attention to 20 things at once...he's def my son. He is an awesome little reader though...he's sit through multiple books and "read" them to himself. :)

Another reason motherhood has exhausted me is because we have no family to help us. I see friends  dropping their kids off at grandmas to run up to the store or gym, or hey, last min date night. Not us...our parents are 2-3 hours away. They help when they can, but it's not the same as having several relatives willing to watch your little one...for free...at the drop of a hat. A movie and cheap dinner costs us $100, minimum. #babysitterfeesarebrutal

Anyhow, I'm sitting here at 11:00 at night, hubs is in Canada, my house is a wreck, the chardonnay is warm, I need to shower, I have a ton of grad work to do, and I'm wasting time blogging. Why? Because ranting feels good. Women, or maybe it's just me, feel better after ranting. We don't even care if other people care, or listen even. If I won the lottery, I would totally hire a shrink (or any random person, actually) to rant to on a moment's notice. How awesome would that be? Girlfriends don't see you as negative, no more complaining to the hubby, it's a totally great idea. Until then I'll rely on a few close girlfriends and this here blog. :)

So, to sum up...mommyhood has really exhausted me. I had no idea how much your life changes or how much work it was. IAnd I thought toddler years were easier? Baaahahahaa I'm hilarious. My staying at home is such a blessing, but wow, it's been very challenging...mentally and physically. I just hope I'm doing the best job I can. :)

loving my cuddles

I think I'm ready for a little mommy/daddy vaca this summer. Heels would be nice, and a full night's rest would be too. It's the little things.

Wow that made me feel much better! YAY!

Maybe we should start on number two...

Face Down on the Floor of Central Market

So, today I decided to take Kyle over to the Central Market cafe for some lunch. He loves CM's lunches. It's such a gorgeous day!

Well, the second we get into the cafe area and I attempt to put him in a highchair, he starts kicking and screeching as loudly as possible, for no apparent reason.

Sweat.

As fast as I can, I grab some snacks from his bag and feed him little nibbles while we're standing in line to order. He reaches over and almost pulls a bottle of cabernet sauvignon off of the metal shelf, and I catch it just in time.

Sweat.

We get up to pay at the counter, and he's crying because he went one second without a snack. He grabs the vibrating coaster thingy and throws it across the room at the cashier girl. (I should've stopped here, but I'm an optimist idiot.)

Sweat.

I manage to roll him over to the drink bay, holding the coaster thing, my empty cup, receipt, my LV and his huge bag, and I'm wearing uncomfortable shoes. As I struggle to get the lid on my tea cup as fast as humanly possible, he begins to yell...again.

More sweat.

We get outside and all he wants to do is go over and play. I know that, but I really wanted us to eat first before heading over there. It was getting crowded, tables were filling up, and I didn't want to give up our seat. I finally decide to leave his diaper bag on the table, his sippy cup, my tea, and his highchair, "suggesting" that our table was taken.

As soon as we head over to play, the coaster vibrates.

More sweat.

I wrangle him back to the high chair, where we had a pretty solid 20 minute lunch...he only threw three perfectly grilled strips of chicken on the ground, along with his cup...two times. No one was stabbed and we didn't melt down, so I call this a win. 

Blood pressure decreasing.

We go over to the play area and he plays pretty well for 15 or so minutes, but due to his Casper complexion and the sunscreen I left in the car, I have to drag him away...literally.

Sweating again.

We walk inside and I reeeally wanted a refill of my tea, but I have to pee. Ugh...dilemma. So, we head to the restroom. There's one stall open, and I have no stroller. This is a first. I have my strongman 31 pound 18 month old, two large bags, and I'm holding on to that damned tea cup if it kills me. I'm freaking thirsty.

I lock the door, hang up my bags, and he immediately runs to stick his hands in the water, where I yell out "NO NO!"...and the lady int he stall next to me says "excuse me!?" (not realizing my son was in there), and I had to tell her I was referring to my toddler. So, I sit down to pee (sorry if this is TMI) and Kyle's unrolling the toilet paper, looking underneath the stall at the woman next to me, and trying to grab her feet, laughing. I have to pick him up, and literally set him on my lap...while I pee. You can't get any more "mom" than that.

Full-body sweat mode.

After the fastest urination I've ever experienced, I set him down, flush, pull up my pants, grab the bags, my empty cup, and unlock the door. There are now three women waiting in this tiny restroom...we open my stall door, Kyle attempts to run out, I grab his hand and say "No, wait for mommy Kyle"...and BAM.

There's my son, screaming, face down, on the floor of Central Market's bathroom.

Mortified.

I proceed to bend over and pick him up (totally limp) with my hands completely full, and now I'm frantically trying to get him off the floor, wash his hands and face, and my own as well. Ewwww. He's still fussing. I get us washed up, and there's no paper towels. Really? My Loft pants are just as absorbent.

At this point, my hopes for a refreshing peach and ginger tea refill are shattered. I reluctantly throw the cup away and carry him out the door.

So that's it folks. My son's mouth was on the floor of a public restroom today. Oh well. At least he got his lunch.

Embrace it, love it.

Our Son: Comedian in the Making

I just thought I'd post just some cute/funny videos of Kyle we've taken since he's been born. He's always laughing, and he cracks us up. We try to keep videos from our iphones uploaded to our youtube channel, but we get behind pretty often. We've recorded some freaking hilarious (and cute) stuff....these are just a few.

Kyle spinning in his new jumper! (He was fine...don't worry. LOL)

Daddy is SO funny!

Kyle eating...and us thinking we're just the funniest parents ever lol.

Kyle's first walk for mommy and daddy! (He walked for mimi and pawpaw a few days earlier while we were in D.C.)

Pawpaw is funny!

I award myself "mom of the year" here. It's hilarious though!

Kyle having a BLAST with Braxton, Kristen and Rudy! LOVE his belly laugh!

I can't believe how fast our little pumpkin is growing up! Crazy!

Kyle's Craft Explosions o' Fun!

Now that Kyle is almost 18 months (OMG) we're getting pretty crafty here at the house! He's VERY active and it seems that coloring, crafts, anything of this nature seems to calm him a bit...it's awesome!

About a week ago we decided to try painting on the porch! It was our first time, so it wasn't perfect, but he sure had fun! We used flour, water and food coloring to make some paints. I used too much water as you can see, but Kyle didn't know the difference. He had a blast getting all messy! We attempted to use some white paper, but that lasted about 12 seconds. The paint washed off of the concrete...and baby...no prob. :)

Is that not the cutest face ever??

I've realized it's getting harder and harder to keep Kyle entertained. The other day when the weather was gloomy I was desperate for something fun to do inside. What did I do? Looked in the pantry. Beans...hmmm...

Yes, it was a huge mess, but he loved it! What toddler wouldn't like to play with a huge bowl of beans? He only tried to eat a couple before he learned not to do that. He isn't smiling here, but wow he was having the BEST time just making a huge mess! He was pouring the beans, sitting in them, touching, smelling them, trying to peel them, it lasted maybe 30 or so minutes! I had to continuously pick them all up and put them back in the big Christmas bowl (BTW, this isn't my bowl...if you recognize it let me know!) for him to play with all over again.

Now, THIS is by far my FAVORITE craft this week. We mixed water and corn starch, and it makes this totally weird, dry, slime gook stuff! It looks like it's dripping wet, but it's not! It's firm to the touch!

cornstarch, room temp water, coloring

This was shot just before he took his first taste of it...and it was not good! So, we got that out of the way early!

Kyle played with this for maybe 45 minutes...he loved it! We added different colors, cut it, mashed it, it was SO weird! I'm definitely doing this again on a larger scale. A huge pile of weird melting/but not really wet slime would be awesome! I took some cute video of him playing with the gook, but I haven't uploaded to our youtube channel yet.

He loved trying to swirl the coloring...we also used spoons, forks and spatulas to manipulate the gook!

We've also begun our daily coloring activity. I need to buy some white butcher paper, but until then he's loving his nightly coloring time on the coffee table...we just tape paper down and let him make his masterpieces! He even tries to copy my swirls and shapes now! Perhaps we have another artist in the family!? :)

So far, purple appears to be his fave. :)

So, I'm trying to get in 4-5 crafts a week until school/work starts in August. I'm loving how much Kyle can do now that he's getting a little older! This just gets more and more fun!

Next up...big box o' feathers and pompoms? Sounds fun!

Cancer, Dad and Faith

Every year I feel a little saddened in October, because October 10th is my dad's birthday. He was born October 10, 1934. He passed June 11, 2005. He had sweet sideburns.

1979: Dad's 45th Birthday (and me)

1989: Dad's 55th Birthday (and me)

My dad passed away when I was 25 years old. Two years and one month prior, he was diagnosed with a very rare bladder cancer. This cancer grew in the lining of organ walls, unlike typical tumors. Therefore, this cancer was extremely hard to detect, and it was very aggressive. He was diagnosed in May 2003, and had a major eight-hour surgery in June 2003 which removed his bladder and a large portion of his intestines. The surgeon told my mother and I, IF my dad survived that surgery, he gave him two months. Two months. This was a complete blow considering we thought the surgery would heal him completely. But, dad didn't settle for that. He then lived through multiple surgeries, ostomy bags, rounds of chemo, radiation, trips to MD Anderson, and many other struggles over the next two years. He lived two years and one month, and he defied everything the doctors predicted.

June 2003 (shortly after his major surgery)

He went into a remission for a short while, during the summer of 2004, and being the optimistic and very naive person I was at the time, I figured he was well and cancer-free, and I could then move to DFW for a graphic design job and get the heck out of Waco. Of course after moving to Arlington in September of 2004, dad's cancer returned. I was living alone, starting a challenging job, and my dad--my hero, teacher, supporter, etc.--was suffering everyday to fight cancer. 

You can't explain to anyone what it's like to have a terminally ill parent. The only thing I can imagine worse than losing a parent is losing your child. My mother lost two daughters, and I can't imagine that. Losing your parent is terrifying. Watching someone suffer through cancer is unexplainable. Cancer literally wastes you away, and it's completely heartbreaking. All I did was pray, pray, and pray some more. My mother had just survived chemo and breast cancer, and now my dad was so very sick. I thought, seriously?! Why my parents?? Why my dad? Every time the phone rang, for months, I was terrified it was "the phone call". It's the most helpless, constantly anxious feeling I've ever had to this day. Not only was my dad sick, but my mother was his 24/7 caregiver, and my big brother had to step up and run our family company all on his own. My mom had been married to my dad for 43 years, and she was dealing with the realization that she was losing the man she'd been with since she was 17 years old. Her family was her life, and being a homemaker and caregiver was all that she'd known. God Bless my mother for all she did for my dad. 

Daddy, momma and I, Fall 2003

July 4, 2004: (1 year post-diagnosis, Dad in remission)

November 2004, Thanksgiving

My dad wasn't able to meet my husband Michael. I had met Michael five months before he passed. I wanted to bring him down to meet my parents, but mom always insisted that dad was too tired for company. I so wish he could've met him. They are so much alike it's scary. The day my dad passed Michael came into the hospital room, and I told dad Michael was there. I told daddy he was the man I was going to marry, and to not worry, that Michael would take good care of me. He wasn't conscious at that point but I like to think he heard me. Dad always took care of me, and he wanted me to meet a good man who would do the same. 

The last time I saw my dad smile was the night before he passed...I put my mp3 player up to his ears and let him listen to Sinatra's "Fly me to the Moon"...he was smiling and bopping his head, and he told me how much he liked that song. It made me so happy to see him smile. He was so tired. I can't imagine knowing your fate, and realizing the time you have left, but not having strength to hardly do anything. That was the hardest on him. His mind was fine, he was naturally a busy body who ran 100 mph all the time, and this sickness totally drained him from day one. He had said, "I'm so tired of being tired", and I knew he was letting go soon. The next day he passed away surrounded by his family, and he grasped mine and my mother's hands as he took his last breath. At the time I was uncontrollably sobbing and devastated. Now I'm grateful. He was free.

Spring 2004

I gave the eulogy at my dad's funeral. My family said I wouldn't be able to do it. Well, given my nature of doing things just to prove others wrong, I did. It wasn't perfect, but I think it was understandable given the circumstances.

Shortly after his diagnosis, dad told me the two things he would regret the most in his life were: not being there to walk me down the aisle and missing the birth of my children. I know he was there for both occasions, and I truly believe he's here me everyday, but there are days when I sure wish I could talk to him. I wish I could see him sitting at our kitchen table reading the morning paper and drinking his coffee again. I miss his voice more than anything.

I believe he's around, I truly do. Just last night, Michael and I were watching this silly show Long Island Medium, about this woman to speaks to spirits. I've never been one who is into that stuff, but this woman is sure convincing, or the show is a setup. Anyhow, I'm watching this medium talking to young lady about her dad's passing, and the lady is crying as she talks about losing her dad to cancer. I turned to Michael and told him I couldn't watch it anymore, about to lose it. I look away then Michael says "Sarah Sarah!" "Look!" I looked at the tv screen where Michael had changed it to different channel...and paused on the screen was "James Jones", atop a list of football players, pasted across the screen. My dad's name was James Jones.

I know he's in heaven, pain-free, talking to my grandparents and playing with my two sisters, Leslie and Denise. Leslie was stillborn and Denise died of neuroblastoma when she was two. I was the third daughter, and the apple of his eye. I was a "daddy's girl" to the core, and I always will be. It wasn't until after he passed that I began a teaching career, got married, bought a home, began grad school, and had a son. I was pretty stagnant through my dad's illness, but I've stayed busy since he passed. I like to think he'd be proud of me, and how my life has turned out so far...for the most part. The best in me, is because of him. My dad's passing changed who I am. He reminds me of how strong we can be. Most importantly, my dad showed me what it means to have faith. :)

Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."
John 13:7