I'm having a porch moment. Moms should know what that means. Ya know, when your nerves are so shot from your crying baby, you make sure the baby is nice and safe in his crib and step out onto the porch, closing the door behind you so you don't go crazy? I think we've all be there at least once.
So I decided to take my molar cutting, 28 pound, now walking everywhere, sweet baby boy to Wal Mart for a few items. I loathe Wal Mart and only try subjecting myself to that place once or twice a year, and today probably lowered that to once a decade.
Why are there SO many people...men, women, CHILDREN, at a Wal Mart at 1:00 on a weekday? It was like Black Friday in there!
In a nutshell, my son Kyle screamed the entire time. Perhaps his gums were hurting him, but that's not the purpose for this screaming. This is his new babble. Apparently he has one volume...SCREAM. So, as we're rushing around the store, with my arms cramping from trying to push the basket AND hold my son down in the seat (because of course I grabbed the basket with a broken strap and all he wants to do is jump out), he is screaming out bloody murder..."MAMAAAA, DADAAAA, BABAAA, AAAHH". It was more of a scream to get out of the basket rather than painful gums, so of course I'm not very sympathetic. This is driving....me...insane.
angrily screaming is the new talking
In the checkout line, I got the trainee girl who apparently has no sense of urgency, and with all four of their 100 checkers up front, every line was packed...again at 1:00 on a Monday. I picked Kyle up, put him down. Picked him up, put him down. Two people in my line behind me comment on how big of a boy he is and how they don't know how I handle him. Thanks. Yes I have a left tackle for a son. I know this.
After he almost succeeds at jumping out of my arms a few times, we finally complete the transaction when I notice a 50 something year old couple catching his eye and making him smile...as he screams in my ear AHAHAYAYAAA. Now he's happily screaming at them as they laugh and wave. Thanks people. I put him down, start to push the basket out of the checkout line, and the couple walks up to me, telling me "your son is so adorable! I politely say thank you. Then, the lady asks me if he has a stocking...I reply "um, a Christmas stocking? Yes? Why?" She proceeds to hand me a one dollar bill and tells me it's for his stocking because he's such a cutie, and wow he's a handful! Haha! She doesn't know how I handle him all day!
Umm, okay. Thanks for the buck lady.
That was a dumpster fire of an afternoon.
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