So, today I decided to take Kyle over to the Central Market cafe for some lunch. He loves CM's lunches. It's such a gorgeous day!
Well, the second we get into the cafe area and I attempt to put him in a highchair, he starts kicking and screeching as loudly as possible, for no apparent reason.
Sweat.
As fast as I can, I grab some snacks from his bag and feed him little nibbles while we're standing in line to order. He reaches over and almost pulls a bottle of cabernet sauvignon off of the metal shelf, and I catch it just in time.
Sweat.
We get up to pay at the counter, and he's crying because he went one second without a snack. He grabs the vibrating coaster thingy and throws it across the room at the cashier girl. (I should've stopped here, but I'm an optimist idiot.)
Sweat.
I manage to roll him over to the drink bay, holding the coaster thing, my empty cup, receipt, my LV and his huge bag, and I'm wearing uncomfortable shoes. As I struggle to get the lid on my tea cup as fast as humanly possible, he begins to yell...again.
More sweat.
We get outside and all he wants to do is go over and play. I know that, but I really wanted us to eat first before heading over there. It was getting crowded, tables were filling up, and I didn't want to give up our seat. I finally decide to leave his diaper bag on the table, his sippy cup, my tea, and his highchair, "suggesting" that our table was taken.
As soon as we head over to play, the coaster vibrates.
More sweat.
I wrangle him back to the high chair, where we had a pretty solid 20 minute lunch...he only threw three perfectly grilled strips of chicken on the ground, along with his cup...two times. No one was stabbed and we didn't melt down, so I call this a win.
Blood pressure decreasing.
We go over to the play area and he plays pretty well for 15 or so minutes, but due to his Casper complexion and the sunscreen I left in the car, I have to drag him away...literally.
Sweating again.
We walk inside and I reeeally wanted a refill of my tea, but I have to pee. Ugh...dilemma. So, we head to the restroom. There's one stall open, and I have no stroller. This is a first. I have my strongman 31 pound 18 month old, two large bags, and I'm holding on to that damned tea cup if it kills me. I'm freaking thirsty.
I lock the door, hang up my bags, and he immediately runs to stick his hands in the water, where I yell out "NO NO!"...and the lady int he stall next to me says "excuse me!?" (not realizing my son was in there), and I had to tell her I was referring to my toddler. So, I sit down to pee (sorry if this is TMI) and Kyle's unrolling the toilet paper, looking underneath the stall at the woman next to me, and trying to grab her feet, laughing. I have to pick him up, and literally set him on my lap...while I pee. You can't get any more "mom" than that.
Full-body sweat mode.
After the fastest urination I've ever experienced, I set him down, flush, pull up my pants, grab the bags, my empty cup, and unlock the door. There are now three women waiting in this tiny restroom...we open my stall door, Kyle attempts to run out, I grab his hand and say "No, wait for mommy Kyle"...and BAM.
There's my son, screaming, face down, on the floor of Central Market's bathroom.
Mortified.
I proceed to bend over and pick him up (totally limp) with my hands completely full, and now I'm frantically trying to get him off the floor, wash his hands and face, and my own as well. Ewwww. He's still fussing. I get us washed up, and there's no paper towels. Really? My Loft pants are just as absorbent.
At this point, my hopes for a refreshing peach and ginger tea refill are shattered. I reluctantly throw the cup away and carry him out the door.
So that's it folks. My son's mouth was on the floor of a public restroom today. Oh well. At least he got his lunch.
Embrace it, love it.
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