Rediscovering Sarah

Well, the past few months have been pretty awesome, staying home with my little angel. Who wouldn't want to hang out with this cutie pie everyday?

Anyhoo, so I've been rockin' out my grad classes, taking care of little one, running, taking care of the household, and then a couple weeks ago it hit me--I hadn't thought about work in weeks! I hadn't looked up teacher ideas, websites, employment sites, anything! For the past eight months, I've thought about going back to work almost everyday. I've tried to keep up with the "field" with journals, websites, chatting with teacher friends, etc. just incase I make a crazy move and get a job mid-year. Who knows...I've done more impulsive things.

But lately, it's been nice. It's been different. I feel like I'm finally letting go of work and rediscovering "pre-teacher" Sarah. (Guuurrrll!)

Before I was a teacher, I was interested in so many things! Then I began my new career and I pretty much obsessed over it. I loved it, but it sucked my soul. Looking back, SO many things took a backseat to my new job. Perhaps it was because I was terrified going into it that I would fail, seeing as how it was a second career. I had never student taught, and I honestly had no idea what I as doing. I went to school for graphic design and studio art. Unfortunately, my obsession to learn more never subsided, and I pushed aside SO many things in my life that I loved!

-changing my hair style, color, cut monthly

-makeup...buying, wearing, changing, loving

-piercings...yes I had them...tongue, belly, etc.

-using my credit cards to shop 'til I dropped (okay, not responsible, but WOW I had a wardrobe!)

-art...making it, viewing it

-jumping out of planes

-photography (I was the wierdo who took my huge camera everywhere...just incase!)

-football, tailgaiting with my hubs (then boyfriend)

-working out

-sports (I used to watch ESPN often and keep up with sports! Really!)

-cooking new things everynight (party of one!)

-watching mindless reality shows

-dancing whenever possible

-pedis, manis, massages

-concerts, music, live shows

-happy hours (well, that never changed)

-spontaneous weekend road trips all over the place

-reading mindless celeb mags

-working 8-5, and not thinking about work one bit after leaving

Then, "teacher" Sarah emerged. In a nutshell, I was so stressed out over teaching and working I had no time for anything else. Seriously..."pre-teaching" Sarah would've bitch slapped "teacher" Sarah in the face. "Teacher" Sarah's hobbies included:

-reading literacy books

-reading literacy websites

-cutting, pasting, typing, gluing anything classroom related

-shopping for clothes only when I reeeeally needed to (shopping at Teach Mart was more important!)

-finding flats to go with my teacher slacks

-finding shirts that won't show any cleavage, or arms, or anything else for that matter

-figuring out how to make it by with the least possible make-up...make-up is so time consuming when you  have so much crap to prepare for every morning!

-keeping my roots up just enough to keep me from looking like complete garbage

(this all multiplied ten fold when "pregnant Sarah" emerged...Good Lord!)

-not caring about movies, television, or anything other than education stuff because I saw it was a "superficial waste of time" (I don't think I turned on MTV or E for six years)

-spending every waking free moment on my work

WTH was I thinking!?!! I obviously lost myself along the way...unacceptable. Now, I'm glad I did work my ass off for a few years, because I learned a hell of a lot, I was given many opportunities to grow and learn, and I did get a lot accomplished. But, I'm pretty excited lately as I'm getting back into things I used to love (but due to my lack of time management and suck life balance) kind of lost. Who cares if my hobbies are silly, superficial, or not considered "teacher" appropriate!? I wasn't always a teacher! Life's too short. No matter what from here on out, I'll always enjoy my family, friends, pedis, and spending too much time in Sephora.

Pass me a People mag and a margi,

Surrogate

Saturday was one of the most memorable days I'll ever have...and it had nothing to do with me, or my family. It was a day celebrating the upcoming twins of one of my best childhood friends. These are not ordinary twins...and my best friend is not on an ordinary mother.

My friend Kristen was diagnosed with a medical condition which has basically prevented her from carrying children. She has known about this since she was in her late teens, and of course she was always heartbroken at the idea of not having her own children, as most women would be. She often spoke of surrogacy or adoption before and after marrying her husband, and their longing for children one day.

Kristen and her husband eventually had a son via surrogate, and he's an adorable four year old named Braxton. Smart as a whip and cute as a button! When Kristen went through her first surrogacy journey with Braxton, I remember everything and was thrilled to hear all of the amazing updates throughout the pregnancy, but I don't think you truly "get it", or appreciate the gravity and magnitude of the situation, until you're a mother yourself. I wasn't able to make Braxton's birth due an unexpected family member's passing in Canada, but I was so excited for my best friend finally becoming a mother! I remember thinking I was so sad I missed it, because I doubted they would ever be able to have another child via surrogacy again, and Braxton would be an only child.

Well, Kristen and her husband were blessed with news earlier last year, that a friend of theirs, Amanda, wanted to be their surrogate. She was called to do this for them. Kristen has always spoken so highly of Amanda, who interestingly enough is married to a very nice guy we grew up with...we went to school with her husband our entire lives lol. They have two beautiful children. Wendy and I feel as if we already know Amanda from this journey...Kristen has videotaped and photographed everything they have experienced on this surrogacy journey together, which is so great. The moment they found out they were pregnant, and even the moment they found out it was TWINS! It's pretty cool to see your child's first baby picture...when it's taken at the cellular stage under a microscope! Amazing!

I had the great opportunity to finally meet her surrogate on Saturday, at the twins' "gender reveal" party. She exudes grace, and just seeing the girl who is carrying my best friend's twins, well, it just about made me cry upon introduction.

The gender party was the most exciting thing I think I've ever witnessed. I'm not exaggerating. Kristen and Rudy REALLY wanted at least one girl. They have a son, and they were just hoping for one girl. They cut "baby A" cake, and, it's PINK! We're all screaming, jumping up and down, and everyone begins sobbing. Okay...so we know one will be a girl! We are all so happy for Kristen, as she's wanted a girl so badly. Then, cake number two, and, it's PINK! TWO girls!?! 

Kristen and Rudy were just beside themselves with pure joy and happiness. (Kristen may have been holding Rudy up off the floor, knowing he was having two future teenage diva daughters, but he was thrilled anyway!) Everyone, all 50 something people, were just thrilled to death. We can't stop crying, as we watch Kristen and Rudy embrace, hug, kiss, smile, shed tears...and beside them, is Amanda, crying tears of joy herself. I will never, ever forget this moment...and I am so blessed to have witnessed it.

Most people would think a gender reveal party is just another excuse for an over the top celebration. Well, this one wasn't. It was a celebration of two little miracles, an angel, and two parents who desperately wanted a family of their own. The journey of surrogacy is a very long, stressful, exciting, often difficult, and a rare occurrence. I also believe it's a true miracle. It has enabled my best friend to become a mother. 

I never would have thought, years ago, that my friend Kristen would have a child...much less three, of her  own. They are blessed beyond measure, and I can't express my gratitude to their surrogate, Amanda, for giving them such a glorious gift. All I can say is the Lord works in mysterious and beautiful ways, and this weekend he reminded me of how blessed we truly are. Being in the presence of such overwhelming gratitude and joy was something I'll never, ever forget.

“We prayed for this child and the Lord has granted us what we asked of Him.”  – I Samuel 1:27

Our cup runneth over,

I've Given Up...

okay...not really. But, according to some randos strolling around Hobby Lobby, yes. I've "completely given up".

(In an effort to not vent with each post, I have actually posted a couple of things on my "love" and "teach" pages, if you care to see something sweet and uplifting. If not, continue enjoying my story of the day.)

So I'm at Hobby Lobby today with my sweetie Kyle, and it's about 9:30 in the morning. I was pretty exhausted yesterday and this morning, so have I showered? No. Is my hair nice and clean? No. Am I in comfy track pants and a sweatshirt with minimal makeup? Yes. Well, this woman approaches me as I'm trying to choose scrapbooking papers, and compliments me on how adorable Kyle is. I thank her, and she continues talking to him. This is fine, and this happens often as Kyle is a little flirt, so I continue looking at my items while texting my friend to be sure I'm purchasing the correct papers. I'm trying to multi-task here while keeping my child in the cart. Well, she asks me 100 questions, small talk, yada yada, and I thank her several times and walk away.

I pull up to the cashier and we're behind her. She begins to talk about how cute he is again, how he must be a little stinker, etc. and I continue to respond with the normal mommy banter while silently wishing this hooker would hurry up and unload her cart so I can get the heck back home. Then out of the blue, she busts out...

"Yeah, it's funny...how little ones like him...they make you just...give up! Haha...yeaaah, you just give up on life and everything...you don't wear makeup anymore, you probably haven't showered in days, you wear sweats everywhere and it's like, hey, I have spit-up on my sweatshirt and formula on my pants...and it's okaay! Haha...yeah, it's funny how you just...give up on everything! Haha...well, have a great day! Byeee!"

Uh, really!? Are you serious!? Needless to say, I checked out, stared at my minimal makeup face in my rear view mirror for five minutes trying to dissect her comment, then drove straight home to hide my hobbit self indoors. The rest of the day, I keep thinking about why I keep coming into contact with the craziest people? Everyday I leave the house, I seriously have a weirdo story. 

Perhaps it's because I've spent the last years of my life surrounded by young children and teachers. Teachers in general are kind, sweet, rarely abrasive (unless you're a pregnant Sarah), and I feel very comfortable around them. When teaching, I knew who I would see everyday, I wasn't worried about getting offended or embarrassed, and I started believing everyone in the world was as intelligent and nice as the 50 something teachers I worked with. Now that I'm staying home and amongst the public on a daily basis, I'm shocked at the weirdos and awkward people I run into every week. Seriously.

Really?

Question for some mommy friends...here's the situation.

Today I took Kyle to a public play area at a local church, with play tubes, slides, etc. There were only a few other children there, so it wasn't busy at all. Well, this little boy, around three/four years old, is running around like a mad man, and his mom is repeatedly yelling his name. Over, and over, and over, telling him to slow down, come here, whatever. Anyhow, Kyle was standing next to him at one point, smiling...the other boy looks at me, then him, then aggressively shoves Kyle down with both hands--while grinning. I politely say, "uh oh, no, let's play nice, he's a little baby". The kid looks at me again, then him, and shoves him down...again. Kyle begins to cry. I look at the boy, pick Kyle up, and as soon as he's on his feet, this kid shoves him down AGAIN! Oh and that's not all...I grab Kyle and walk him away from this kid, and he comes up from behind and shoves Kyle down from BEHIND! Oh heck nooo....not cool Shamrock...or whatever wierd name your parent gave you.

At this point I'm really ticked off. I look around and his mother is over running her mouth to another mom. I just let it go, because obviously this kid has no rules or boundaries, as I saw when the mom had to chase and yell at him for thirty minutes to get him to leave. I know he's a toddler, but purposely shoving a baby down multiple times? And I don't mean a little shove, I mean this kid used both arms, as hard as he could! Kyle slid back this kid shoved him so hard!

Anyhow, what do you do in that situation? Get onto the child? Move your child away? Go let the parent know?  Trip him? My teacher instincts make me want to redirect the child's behavior and go "address" the mom, but this parenthood thing is new. Other kids think Kyle is much older than he really is, because he looks more like a two year old than 13 months. But still, this kid was one shove short of a thumb in the eye. Any suggestions?

Possibly obsessive helicopter mom,

Karma's Bitch Slap: My FB Post

So, today I had a pretty relaxing, laid back day. I thought I'd share my happiness in the moment by posting my day's activities on my Facebook page for all my friends to read. Perhaps they would share in my happy-go-lucky, aquarius like, splendor of a day...

Woke at 7, GMA, eggs and pancakes for breakfast. Crafts in pjs, lunch out with Wendy, then a two hour nap cuddled with my sweetie. Next, shopping, a nice run, then cooking dinner for the hubby. Maybe some vino.
Staying. home. rocks.

Yeah, so I posted to the world how effing wonderful my day was, and how kick ass it felt to be able to stay home. Karma was laughing at me from across the room before he ran over and shanked me in the neck.

Michael went to sleep, and I was back on baby duty. Over the next TWO hours...

1: Kyle runs around laughing and trying to slap me. Repeatedly. In the face. Shit ain't funny.

2: I rock Kyle in his room in the dark, he jumps up and runs down the hall laughing at me.

3: I let him play, and he manages to get his fat little leg stuck in the coffee table railings, and screams murder until I untangle him.

4: Coke is spilt on the floor, leather couch, my blanket, and on him. This is the second diet coke spilt. Today.

5: I rush over to grab something from Kyle and stub my toe on the table leg. I let out a sweaty, white faced m*ther***** just low enough to hope that my son doesn't magically repeat it.

6. Kyle runs up to me on the floor, hugs me, and pukes all over my hair, shirt, and arm. This is no spit up. This is acid smelling, foul, puke. Then he rubs it in, sticks his hands in his mouth and rubs it all over my face before I can get him off of me. The towel I quickly grab to wipe my face with is covered in 409.

7. Kyle ran into the bathroom to play in the toilet water. And my face is on fire. 

8. I try rocking Kyle again, and he runs away. Again.

9. I chase him, pick him up, proceed to tickle his fat thigh, and I get a hand full of shit. Shit.

10. I try to put him in his crib, he screams bloody murder for 15 minutes. I pick him up and see he's busted his upper lip on the (padded) crib railing from throwing his tantrum. Blood everywhere.

11. I finally rock him to sleep...at midnight. And, he WILL wake up at 6am. My child doesn't sleep.

12. I return to my laptop to see all my shit was totally erased when it died.

And I still have no bacon.

Shit Girls Say...So True

Seriously. I say this crap all.the.time. I'm sure most of you have seen these already, but it's still funny even after watching it ten times.